Dateline – Gilroy, CA 95020
ABCD news has reported that China plans to sell up to 5.8 billion Barry Bonds bobbly-headed dashboard dolls. The move will replenish China’s capital and meet government standards following a record surge in lending last year amid Beijing’s stimulus measures, a state-run gossip columnist reported.

Groups in the West raised the alarm to check each doll for lead content. “It is probably hidden in the bat,” one Conservative pundit muttered.